


Secretive Heart

by Unsolved_Macaroni



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Car Ride, Finished, Friendship, Ghosts, Heart Attacks, Panic, Secrets, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25293301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unsolved_Macaroni/pseuds/Unsolved_Macaroni
Summary: Shane learns a truth which he, for Ryan's sake, is not willing to share with his friend.- - -Secretive Heart | Buzzfeed Unsolved fanfiction 2020
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	1. I can't breathe

“And when he pulled out that bible and held it to your head! And he suddenly screamed ‘The signs tell me you don’t have much time left!’ That was pretty extreme!” Ryan laughed “Kinda scared me though, you believe him?”

“Hell no, that was as true as your little ghost stories. The dude meant well though.” Shane said smiling a little.

Ryan let out another chuckle, before the conversation went quiet.

They were on their way home, after an intense day of filming with a priest and spending the night at a haunted location. Driving the highway, the crew followed closely behind in another car. It was peacefully silent. The radio played some song on low volume, making the sound of the wind flowing harshly past the car the dominant sound. The sun was setting right in front of them, which rewarded them with a beautiful view.

“Are you tired?” Ryan spoke up after a while.

Ryan knew Shane was not quick to admit when he was tired or not feeling well. But there were some signs his friend unknowingly gave off. Right now Shane had his elbow propped up against the car door, held his head upright with his balled fist and his eyes were only slightly open. Shane was also a little more quiet and a little more slower than he usually was. All this told Ryan it was one of those days Shane was feeling a little under the weather.

“Hm, a little.” Shane hummed, not looking at Ryan. 

It went quiet again. Ryan found it hard to stay focused on the road. He was pretty tired as well. He had not slept at all last night. A haunted location was not really sleep-inducing to him.

Ryan wondered why Shane felt tired. He had slept peacefully last night, Ryan knew for a fact. Because he had heard his friend snore loudly at least once throughout every hour of the night.

“You did not sleep well?”

Shane shifted in his seat.

“I did, I’m just tired. I don’t know why.” Shane said a little irritated. His short answer basically ending the conversation again.

Ryan bit his lip. Unsure of what to say. It usually was not this difficult to get a response out of Shane. Sure they spent many car rides in comfortable silence, but this felt different to Ryan. He could tell something was up.

Shane shook his left hand slightly, balling his fist and then stretching his fingers out again. He repeated this a few times, making Ryan wonder why he was doing it.

“Everything okay?” Ryan asked, looking over for a second before returning his eyes to the road.

Shane shifted again.

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay.”

When Shane suddenly grabbed at his chest, Ryan looked over at his friend. Which provoked a response out of Shane.

“Don’t worry about me, just watch the road.” Shane said, pointing forward, clutching his chest with his other hand. Ryan noticed Shane was trembling. He decided to trust Shane though, and turned his frowning gaze towards the road again.

A tense feeling formed in Ryan’s gut. Making for nerves to rush through his body each time Shane moved or groaned a little. Something was definitely up.

“Ah fuck.” Shane moaned softly in pain.

“Are you sure everything’s fine? Because you don’t sound fine.” Shane was stressing Ryan out.

“Don’t worry, I just feel a little strange…” Shane slightly massaged his chest.

“Strange?” Ryan responded, his voice cracking. It scared Ryan that Shane was admitting to not feeling good. That meant Shane was really not feeling well, the thought made Ryan's heartbeat speed up a little.

“Shane, what do you mean strange?” Ryan’s grip around the steering wheel tightened.

“I can’t really feel… my arm.” Shane started moving around in his seat again. Seemingly not knowing what to do with himself. Shane’s breathing picked up and it sounded harsh. As if his throat was slowly caving in with every breath he took.

“Is this some joke?” Ryan asked, hoping it was. He knew better though, Shane never joked about stuff like this. Ryan’s knuckles had turned white by now.

“I can’t breathe.”

He wanted it to be a joke.

“Stop the fucking car.” Shane said, as he fully started to hyperventilate.

“I can’t just-”

“Stop. The. Fucking. Car. Ryan!” Shane pressed onto his chest with his hands, hoping to make the terrible, dizzying feeling go away. He felt absolutely terrible, he could not handle Ryan being stubborn on top of it. He hoped with all of his heart that he did not hurt his friends feelings though.

Ryan immediately reached for the hazard lights button, pressing the lights on.

Shane’s heart felt like it was sinking, his head felt like it was sinking. His entire body felt like it was sinking, into a place where nothing lived. Panic swirled around his mind, ensuring that Shane could not stop trembling. Black dots were forming before his vision. He would not tell Ryan this though, he did not want him to worry. These feelings would pass, he would feel better in a second. He just needed some fresh air.

Although the numbing and tingling feeling on the left side of his body told him otherwise.

He was going to die. Shane quickly shook his head when these thoughts entered his mind. He was going to die. The priest had warned him and the old man had been right. He was going to die. Right here, next to some highway

Ryan checked if it was safe to steer the car to the emergency lane. Shane beside him bent over, resting his forehead on the dashboard. muffled, pained groans erupted from Shane’s throat as he kept clutching at his chest.

“Hold on, Shane.”

By the time it was finally safe for them to move towards the emergency lane, Shane felt like he was barely conscious. Slumped against the dashboard of the car.

“Shane?” Ryan asked frantically. Shaking his friends shoulder with one hand, the other gripping the steering wheel. He looked over his shoulder once more, to ensure it was safe to change lanes. When they finally reached the emergency lane, Ryan hit the breaks.

“Shane!” Ryan tried again. His friend was scaring the shit out of him. Shane groaned in response, sitting back into the car seat again.

The car finally halted.

“I just… need some… fresh air.” Shane said in between harsh breaths. The shaking of his hands almost stopped him in opening the car door.

“No, Shane stay inside!” Ryan quickly clawed at Shane’s arm, trying to stop him. But before he could do anything else his friend was already outside, leaving his car door wide open.

“Shit.” Ryan mumbled, clicking his seatbelt loose and getting out as well. He could feel his heart beat inside his throat by now.

Ryan swallowed thickly as he slammed the car door shut, the cars buzzing past at high speed kinda scared him. He stayed close to his car as the wind pulled at his hair.

The crew had parked behind them. Mark who was driving, leaned out of the window of their car.

“Why are we stopping, what’s going on?” Mark yelled over the noise of the cars rushing past, raising his hands in question.

“Shane isn’t feeling well!” Ryan shouted, pushing his hair out of his face. He quickly turned his attention towards Shane, who he did not see or hear because of the noise of the cars.

Ryan walked around the back of the car, finding Shane a few meters away from the vehicle. His friend stood bent over, leaning with one hand on his knee, while the other was still grasping at his chest. Shane had his back turned towards Ryan, which shook violently with every breath he tried to suck in. Ryan noticed Shane’s knees shaking.

“Shane? Should I call an ambulance?” Ryan asked, slowly stepping towards Shane.

Shane swayed from left to right, Ryan quickly grabbed his friends shoulder so he would not fall over.

It only worked for a few seconds though. Shane weakly whispered ‘Ryan”, followed by a final rough breath and collapsed onto the asphalt with a hard smack.

Ryan immediately lunged forward, but not fast enough to prevent Shane’s head hitting the road. 

“Shit!” Ryan called out. He could just hear Mark yell something inaudibly, but Ryan’s mind was occupied with his friend who was laying before him unconscious. 

Ryan put his ear to Shane’s mouth, remembering one of the last things Shane had said to him.

The sentence “I can’t breathe” haunted his mind, as he listened for any signs of life.

“Not breathing…” Ryan whispered to himself. Sitting up right again, Ryan saw that his friend’s skin had turned a sickly white color.

And then his mind seemed to cloud with blind panic as the realisation that Shane was not breathing kicked in.

Ryan started shouting.

“Shit! He’s not breathing! Mark, call 911!”

Soon after an excruciating ringing sound filled his head. Time flew by unknowingly as he was sure he was screaming and crying for Shane to wake. Suddenly he felt himself being dragged away from Shane. People he did not know rushed to Shane, moving his friend to lie onto his back. Ryan saw a lot of movement, blurred by tears and any sound unrecognisable because of the ringing that was still in his head.

He heard many muffled voices. Ryan did not understand a thing. People were standing beside him, in front of him. He could just catch glimpses of the lifeless expression on Shane’s face every once in a while. It was an absolutely terrifying sight. Ryan flinched as someone touched his shoulder.

One blink was all it took to reach the hospital. Ryan must have blacked out. Because he remembered his tears to be wet on his cheeks. Now he only felt the pulling on his dry skin, where the tears had rested.

Ryan blinked a few more times, reality dawning in on him. He looked around, doctors and bright lights surrounding him. He was being asked questions while his mind could only focus on one sentence.

“I can’t breathe”


	2. He was not supposed to die today

It was extremely cold. Freezing actually. Shane had never felt this cold before in his life. He shuddered and rubbed his arms up and down. Hoping the coldness would subside. Beside the cold, he felt restless as well. Why though, was a mystery to him.

He looked over at his best friend Ryan, who was frantically shaking and sitting in front of something lying on the ground. Shane felt regretful towards his friend. He had been awful to him lately. But that was just because Shane had been too occupied with the pain he had been experiencing the past week. The pain had been so bad a few times that any question from Ryan was too much for him to handle. Speaking of the pain, where had it gone…? And why was his friend freaking out? Shane glanced over Ryan’s shoulder.

Shane saw himself lying on the ground. But how could he see himself passed out on the asphalt of the road when he was standing behind Ryan? This did not make any sense.

His body on the ground actually looked awfully dead… What was going on?

A sudden whisper behind Shane made him flinch. He spun around and stood face to face with a man he did not know. The man looked weird, his face sunken and stained red. 

The stranger whispered something again.

“W-what?” Shane stuttered, his voice coming out weak.

Shane took a few steps back. Not only because he was freaked out about what was going on, had he finally gone mad? But also because he felt drawn towards his body that was still seemingly dead on the ground. What was happening to him? And who was this person talking to him?

“Oliver, is that you?” The stranger said, voice fearsomely gravelly.

Shane wanted to respond, but the pull from his body was too extreme to ignore. He had to get back. As he passed Ryan, he looked at him. A frown formed on Shane’s face, his heart invaded by hurt for his friend. Shane could tell Ryan was screaming by the way his mouth was widely open and the panic in his eyes. It hurt him to see Ryan in so much distress.

As Shane somehow returned to his body, pain came back in a violent wave making everything go black.

He was not supposed to die today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next and final chapter will be longer, thanks for reading! :)


	3. That is absolutely crazy

Ryan heard a sound coming from far away.

“Calm down, you’re fine!”

It was a voice.

“They managed to revive him!”

Shane?

“They revived Shane!”

Shane is alright?

“Breath, buddy. Breath.”

Taking deep breaths slowly changed Ryan’s vision from blurry to clear. The constricting feeling in his throat finally lessened. Ryan looked around slowly, taking in his surroundings. He sat on a plastic chair in a waiting room in the hospital. Mark sat beside him, staring into his eyes.

“You okay now?” Mark asked.

Ryan’s eyes landed on Mark’s.

“Yeah, I think so…” Ryan nodded his head ever so slightly. “Shane’s alright? But he wasn’t breathing? Where is he? Can I see him?”

“Slow down, he’s alright. And you’re right, he wasn’t breathing for a full two minutes because of a heart attack…” Mark paused for a second, finding it hard to believe Shane had actually been dead, but revived just in time. “But he’s okay now! The doctors are monitoring him closely. He’s going to be just fine.”

“Holy shit…” Ryan breathed out, resting his head against the wall behind his chair. His best friend suffered from a heart attack, and had been dead for two minutes? Was this all a nightmare? Or a dream, since Shane had made it out alive?

He studied the ceiling, while his mind raced with scenarios that would have happened if Shane had not been revived. Ryan quickly tried to get rid of those thoughts. His friend was alright, he made it. No need to think about what could have happened.

But he knew he could not fully relax until he saw Shane being okay with his own eyes.

“I’m sure you can see him soon, Ryan. The doctors will call us when Shane’s all hooked up to machines that monitor his heart function.”

Ryan did not respond. He was so tired, relieved and at the same time still so anxious. He closed his eyes, and felt Mark reassuringly pat his shoulder. A phone started ringing.

“I gotta take this call, it’s Sara. She doesn’t know yet…”

Ryan felt bad for her.

He thought about Shane, while he somehow, despite the stressed feeling in his stomach, fell asleep.  
“Mr. Bergara?” Ryan woke up, by a voice calling his name.

The clock that hung on the wall opposite of Ryan, told him only ten minutes had passed. Ryan rubbed his eyes and looked up at the nurse. For some reason his mind traveled to bad news, although Mark had just told him Shane was going to be alright.

“You can go see Mr. Madej.” She said. “He’s in the coronary care unit, in room 304.”

“Thank you.” Ryan softly smiled. He stood up and started making his way towards the room Shane was in.

With every step he took, the nerves inside him grew.

Room 304.

There it was. Ryan placed his hand on the door handle, taking a moment to exhale deeply, before opening the door.

He stepped into a bright room, filled with beeping noises and big machines. It was overwhelming to say the least. In the middle of all the machines stood a hospital bed.

Tears filled Ryan’s eyes when he saw Shane. His friend looked incredibly fragile. All kinds of tubes were attached to Shane with stickers, it looked serious. And of course it was, Shane had suffered a heart attack at the young age of 33. It worried Ryan. The thought of having to live the rest of his life without Shane by his side, would be a life Ryan hated living.

Tears left his eyes as he realised how close they had gotten to that reality. It frightened him so much.

But he should not cry. Shane was alright, he was going to be at least.

Ryan pulled a chair from the corner of the room and placed it next to Shane’s bed. He carefully sat down, wanting to be quiet for Shane. Although he would love for his friend to wake up right now, show him he was fine. But Ryan knew Shane needed the rest. His body had just gone through something terribly traumatic, and needed to heal.

Staring at Shane for a while, Ryan noticed all of the familiar features his friend had. His pointy noise, the bags under his eyes (which seemed to be more obvious now), his small mouth. They had been friends for only four years, but it seemed like they knew each other so much longer. And Ryan just knew he would never grow sick of Shane. They never really talked about these things, beside from the occasional “I love you” and “You’re my best friend”, most feelings were left unsaid. But they both felt it. Ryan knew Shane thought the same about their friendship.

After a few minutes Ryan decided to check his phone. Multiple messages from friends and colleagues, asking how he and Shane were doing, filled his phone’s lock screen. He answered some of them, leaving some for later. He browsed the internet a little, looking up some things before he got interrupted by a soft groan seemingly coming from Shane.

Ryan scooted to the edge of his seat. He tried to be careful to not hover over Shane, as he did not want to scare his friend. There was eye movement behind Shane’s eye lids, signalling Ryan Shane was waking up. 

Shane’s hand twitched a little before his eyes finally opened. The deep brown eye’s that Shane’s possessed seemed a little hazed as they stared ahead, but Ryan’s friend was awake! Ryan had never felt more relieved and internally screamed with joy.

“Hey, Shane.” Ryan softly said. He placed his hand on Shane’s forearm for a brief moment, to let the older man know he was there.

Shane’s eyes finally shifted over to Ryan’s, and Shane smiled weakly when they met. Ryan could not help but smile back. Suddenly Shane’s smile turned into a frown.

“Have you been crying?” Shane asked, his heart ached deeply for his friend.

Ryan chuckled, knowing this was typical for Shane. He always looked out for Ryan before thinking about himself.

“I was worried about you.” Ryan said.

“I didn’t mean to worry you…” Shane’s tone was so mournful.  
“How are you feeling?”

“Tired… What happened, Ryan?”

Ryan took a deep breath before answering.  
“You suffered a heart attack, Shane…” 

Shane laid terribly still in the hospital bed as Ryan told him what had happened to him. That would explain the tired feeling in his limbs. It would explain the overall tiredness, really.

“And you were actually pronounced dead for two minutes, before the paramedics managed to revive you.”

“Holy shit…” Shane breathed out.

“I know, I had the same reaction…” Ryan smiled as he watched Shane.

It seemed as if his friend was remembering something. As if the answer to the biggest question the universe had to offer had come to him. A puzzled look was present on his face. Ryan wondered what Shane was thinking about, but decided not to ask about it.

“You know, Shane? After you collapsed on the street, I kept hearing the name Oliver being whispered. You’re not going to believe this, but before you woke up I google searched the name and the highway we were on. Apparently there was a car accident about a week ago involving a son, Oliver and his dad that happened on almost the exact place we stopped on. They both died unfortunately… But isn’t that crazy?”

Shane looked at Ryan in disbelief, before shaking his head and chuckle knowingly.

“I knew you would not believe me.” Ryan said.

Doctors started rushing in to check up on Shane, as he looked up at Ryan again. While smiling mischievously he said: 

“Ryan, you know, that _is_ absolutely crazy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :) Let me know what you think!


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